My artistic growth

The last essay I wrote for the grant is about my artistic growth. It went through five versions. I initially thought it could be 5,000 words in length so I wrote out my history of artistic development. I was about 4,000 words in when I realized the length was 5,000 CHARACTERS not words. Always read the fine print, kids!

So I started cutting things down. I whittled and whittled removing parts of the history. It got sorta Frankenstein-ish there for a while until I realized that I didn’t need to talk about my history at all.

So I started over completely. From scratch. And started talking about my art specifically and what I was doing and where I wanted to experiment more. I talked about my practice and how I work, specifically what helps me and what doesn’t.

I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time on a piece of writing. My editor was invaluable to me, helping me refine it until (fingers crossed) I have a winner. Actually, I don’t mind much if I don’t get the money. Thinking about and working through how and why I do what I do was an excellent prize in and of itself.

The essay

For me, there is magic in holding art in my hands. I love a small handmade item that is full of both tactile and visual interest. I make one-of-a-kind books, handheld art pieces, and wall hangings and I try to instill some of that magic into each one. Then, when I’m finished making, I want others to see and hold my creations. I want art that’s accessible to anyone, and being able to handle it is a gateway for that accessibility. 

I’m in the business of making and sharing magic, either by putting my art directly into someone’s hands or indirectly by talking about art making and encouraging others to make their own art.

That magic is enhanced by collaborating with the earth and its elements. I use nature-centered processes such as repurposing existing materials, eco dyeing, and immersing my work in water. Processes that cause deterioration feel particularly important to me, to help convey the ephemeral nature of the things I make and of life itself. I want people to connect with our shared humanity through the transitory nature of what I make. I want them to feel connected to something larger via the energy I’ve put into the piece through these processes. 

I’m looking to expand my practice in the next year by introducing more unpredictabilities into my work, like immersing my art in water or burying it in the dirt for extended amounts of time, and including more natural elements in my pieces.

To further develop this approach, to support producing more work, and to share it more widely, I would allocate grant funds to four areas: an art retreat away from home to explore these unpredictable processes, an artistic coach to help me critique and improve the work I produce during the grant year, a refreshed home creative space to provide new soil for these artistic seeds to continue flourishing, and updates to my website to let me document and share my work and what I’ve learned with fellow artists.

To help develop my work and processes without my day-to-day responsibilities intruding, I want to rent a house near an Alabama lake or waterway for an art retreat. The water is key. It supports exploring these nature-centered processes, plus I do my best thinking by the water. Having dedicated, unstructured time to spend thinking about my work and trying new creative approaches would be instrumental to my growth as an artist.

While organized artists’ residencies offer communal time and space with other artists, over years of workshops, I’ve learned that I don’t perform well artistically under a watchful eye, no matter how kind. I do my best work alone in the quiet. However, external input does help me process the pieces once I’m done making and am thinking through what’s going well and where I need to go next. With that in mind, I’d allocate part of the funds to provide creative coaching during the grant year. I have a coach I’ve worked with before and I know she could help me dig into my process to help me grow.

I’d use another part of the grant money to improve my home studio. In 2013 I set up a folding table as a temporary workspace. It’s now 2026 and it’s still there. I’d replace the folding table with a standing worktable with shelving underneath. Currently my work wall is press-on cork board squares. I’d move my work wall to a larger wall in the room and make some repairs to the previous wall. I’d install new lighting better suited for art creation. I need a studio space that better supports the work I do now, and the grant would let me fulfill that need.

Lastly, I’d pay a web developer to improve my website. My website has multiple purposes. It helps me understand my own practice through the essays I write and lets me share that understanding with my community and encourage them to make their own art. It’s also my portfolio, helping me get shows that literally put my art into people’s hands. However, it uses a no-longer-supported WordPress theme that’s kept me from updating the website to better reflect my changing art. The grant would pay my web developer to change the theme to one that would let me adjust the website myself in the future and to spruce up the existing posts.

One of the questions I asked myself as I was gathering materials to start writing for this was, “What magic can I create by writing this grant?” Articulating my vision of and for my art through this writing process has been that magic. I’m inviting you to participate with me by awarding me the fellowship funds and allowing me to continue to make my own art, share it with others, and encourage fellow artists on their own journeys.

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