Big work

When I was younger, I had dreams of Christo installations or Oldenburg sculptures. Big work means big career, right? Museum big!! REAL ARTISTS MAKE BIG THINGS. In my college days and my early working days, I wanted my work to be big!! Statement piece, or pack up your brushes and go home. But as in all things that we spend time with and ruminate on, those feelings have shifted and changed over time.

I find the older I get the less interested I am in “big” anything. I don’t want big events or big meals or big cars. Maybe the occasional big vacation? That sounds good. I’ve learned that big often comes with a side of exhausting.

Bigger means better, right?

I think it’s interesting that as a society we’ve chosen to assign so much positive value to big. I think I’ve just stopped believing the hype. Big art can be awe inspiring FOR SURE. And as a society I think we need those awe-inspiring pieces in museums and public places. I think they can provide us with cultural touchstones in a really interesting, lovely, community-building way. But in the day-to-day of everyday life, I’ve come to see that bigger art feels cumbersome and just too much for me.

And that feels like a shifting of my whole personality. Because I’ve always subscribed to the Iris Apfel “More is more and less is a bore” theory of basically everything since before I even knew who Iris Apfel was. So not enjoying big art feels like I maybe need to turn in my artist card.

Maybe this is just a stage in my evolution. Big art isn’t for me right now. And maybe in another season, when I have more time and space, big art will absolutely be the right answer for my work.

Go small

I’ve made peace with working smaller. I like books. Books are small. Even the biggest ones are usually not more than 12 inches tall. Books are more intimate. You have to be up close and handle them in order to enjoy them. I like making books out of surprising materials. I like cobbling together things that seemingly don’t go together.

I’ve been thinking about these three matchbooks a lot lately:

Why are these three small books so satisfying to me? Why do I want to pick them up and keep them nestled in my hands? I think it’s because they are so small and nestle-able. And because they are so full of texture. They are each their own little world and mood.

Building my own little world

And I think I’ve arrived at why I’m so zeroed in on small these days. I can create my own little world. Right now, I don’t have enough time or energy to generate big worlds. I have a new puppy and I’ve given over a huge allotment of time to her these days. Art is taking a bit of a back burner for a while. Small is literally all I can manage logistically, energetically, or emotionally.

I have to trust that these small worlds are enough. Whether they evolve into big worlds or create a jumping off point to something else. Maybe this is just the phase I’m in right now and I’ll move into something else later or maybe not. I might spend the rest of my life making small things. And I’m feeling pretty good about that possibility. Because if it’s a choice between making small art and making no art, I’ll take making small art.

Do you work big or small? Can you move back and forth between the two? I’d love to know your answers! Catch up with me on socials, email me, or go old school and leave a comment on this post to be immortalized for all of time.

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