Where we are

I’m not gonna lie, the last two weeks have been a lot. I’ve done my best to do what needs to be done and keep my head out of the news, with only limited success. I’m struggling to keep writing on a blog about my experiences making art given the state of everything.

I’ve been working on my four year project. I worked on week 2 while on a video call with some art friends this weekend. Also I went to lunch with some local friends on Friday and that helped me lighten up for a while. I put some journals in my Etsy store and got a couple of sales. I video called with some other friends and the Canadians with us ribbed us/commiserated with us about placing tariffs on the call.

Y’all. These wins are tiny. I am struggling against letting my world shrink down to the size of my house and backyard.

It’s a heckofa thing to live at the end of an empire. Does one just continue on everyday? Buying groceries–eggs if you can find them! (I saw a cake recipe on Bluesky last week that doesn’t use eggs so maybe I’ll try that this week.) When I’m not screaming at congressional staffers to do something, I wonder about how my throat always feels scratchy now. It’s likely because I am always just on the verge of tears.

When I was giving birth the first time, I yelled at the nurses “I can’t do this!” That phrase keeps running through my head now. It’s the siren blaring in my head 24/7. My brain inconveniently leaves off my nurses saying “Yes, yes you can! So many have done it before you.” I kept my eyes closed the whole time.

But when I stop myself and think about the full events of that day, I remember those nurses’ words and that very shortly after that moment, my oldest was born.

Then I breathe and pry my eyes open, right now in this moment. I remind myself that we have today to make calls to our congress members, to make art, go outside into the sun to play with the dogs, to see where we can send a friend a quick text to catch up or help a neighbor by taking in their trash can. We have today.

So I will do those things. This list of tasks that I’ve been doing for years now with some new urgent ones added in. I’m trying to find the balance with these new things. Gentle is a hard word to reach for during a government coup. Stupid word of the year making me have to try to stay soft and remember our humanity in the midst of deeply inhumane acts.

All we have is each other. Say it out loud to yourself in these trying days. We have each other. I don’t know exactly what that looks like but I think we are about to find out.

What are you working on? I’d love to hear about it so I can cheer you on! Email me or start a conversation by leaving a comment on this post! If you’d like to keep up with what I’m working on, I’d love to have you as a newsletter subscriber. I include blog posts from here, cool things I find online, and pictures of my dogs. Sign up here.