Quitting

This week Meta removed and adapted major sections of its Hateful Conduct policy (to allow anti-LGBTQ rhetoric, and remove protections for LGBTQ users); terminated its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs; deleted trans and nonbinary themes on Messenger; and ended its fact-checking program.

Leaked excerpts from new training materials included dehumanizing attacks on LGBTQ people and other marginalized groups, and also revealed that the company no longer recognizes “tr*nny” as a designated slur. The company now allows content targeting LGBTQ people as “abnormal” and “mentally ill,” and the hate speech policy itself includes anti-LGBTQ rhetoric including using the right-wing anti-trans term “transgenderism.”

“These changes will harm users and make Meta’s platforms unsafe for everyone. Meta is now an anti-LGBTQ company,” said GLAAD President and CEO @sarahkateellis. “Meta’s sweeping, hate-driven corporate policy and product changes this week are shocking and dangerous. The company’s litany of dangerous actions is unprecedented. In one week, they have dismantled an entire history of brand-safety best practices, consumer trust, and most importantly, user safety.”

—Glaad

Previously when I’ve quit things, I’ve just gone. There’s no need to shout loudly as I flouce out of the room in a huff. But here’s the moment when I’m gonna do just that. I am shouting that the house is on fire and the oligarchs can’t be trusted to put it out.

I’m leaving Meta; that includes Instagram, Facebook, Messenger, Threads, and What’sApp.

These Meta policies are their move to cater to the incoming administration and it’s abominable. Let’s be clear, though: as much as I’ve enjoyed these platforms over the years, they need me more than I need them. So I’m done. I’m deleting all of these accounts on January 20, 2025.

Now, I know not everyone can do this. I hope my going gives you courage to start thinking through these things and maybe making some new choices. I hope you see my leaving as your offroad from the sites that use and abuse us. But I’m not mad if you can’t or aren’t ready to go yet.

Why Now?

This has been a slowly-evolving process for me to get to this place. I started years ago pulling back my personal sharing on these platforms while trying to build up my website and newsletter presence. Having platforms that are under my control so that I can still communicate with folks has been a deliberate decision for me for several years now.

I’ve thought for years that the only way for people to find my work is via social media. I’m less and less certain that’s true. Instagram has taken away much of the hashtag searchability. I can’t see people I follow for the constant stream of ads. Facebook too is a steady stream of ads or misinformation shitposts. If my audience is in these spaces, they can’t find me any better than I can find them.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I choose to live the next four years. I am very serious about moving through these years with clear-eyed purpose but also gently and kindly. I’m done being angry. It served me well, but I need different things now. I don’t know what the future will bring us, but I’ve decided I won’t be sitting on socials waiting for that future to be served to me while the sites are actively hostile to so many people I love.

Where Will I Be?

Here! On my website! Doing what I’ve always done, and even returning to some previous practices. I used to do a weekly post of work from my week so I’ll be moving to that again!

You can also sign up for my newsletter! I’ll be pushing that out more regularly now since I won’t be posting to Meta anymore. I’ve been posting a newsletter about every 4-6 weeks, or even less frequently sometimes, so I’ll likely tighten that up to once a month. This is a way you can support me! I’m now paying for a newsletter service so every person who joins my newsletter list makes that cost a better value for me.

I’m on Bluesky. I’ve been posting there sporadically so I’ll definitely be increasing that. No guarantees that this platform also won’t go rabid, but for now it seems ok.

Lastly

I’m not perfect. We are all living under capitalism and the rise of oligarchies. And there is no ethical consumption within that system. I still use Amazon. I’m working to divest there but it’s a different, slower process. The system conditions us to think that pushing back in any small way doesn’t matter. And maybe on Meta’s bottom line, it won’t matter that I’m not there anymore. But it matters to me. I don’t have to keep worrying about it if I’m gone, which frees me up to do other things. And who can say it doesn’t matter? If enough of us quit then it will eventually start to matter.

I’m surprised by how much better I’ve felt since making this decision this week. I thought I’d be anxious and upset about it. But every bit of anxiety I’m feeling is about losing touch with people I care about. How can I stay in touch with people when I’m not on socials? Imma do it the old-fashioned way of calling or showing up in person and the less old-fashioned way of texting or hanging out on Zoom. Email me if you want to connect via Discord or Zoom or, you know, go hang out at a coffee shop and chat.

What about you? How are you planning to spend your one wild and precious life? I’d love to know your answers! Email me or start a conversation by leaving a comment on this post! If you’d like to keep up with what I’m working on, I’d love to have you as a newsletter subscriber. I include blog posts from here, cool things I find online, and pictures of my dogs. Sign up here.