I realized sort of all at once this past month that my whole creative life wasn’t working for me anymore. I’ve been hustling for so long that I couldn’t see that I’d drifted far, far off course. After an anxious couple of weeks, I realized I needed desperately to reprioritize and cut some things from my life.
I made the hard decision to leave my job at Get Messy. I made the hard decision to take a social media sabbatical. I spend a whole week learning to not interrupt every activity (including sleep!) with looking at my phone to see what I was missing on Instagram and Facebook every five minutes. That was a hard week learning how addicted I was to the dopamine hit of seeing those little red hearts and blue thumbs.
And then I went on vacation. I didn’t take many photos and I didn’t post any of them online. I visited with old friends and was really present in a way I can’t remember being in a long time. I didn’t think about what I was missing online. I just spent the days enjoying the trip and being with people.
I’m spending this week (and maybe next and really, I might take another week after that too) thinking about what I want to do with my art. While I love the work I’ve made in the past few years, I’m realizing how performative making it has become. It’s like it doesn’t exist if I don’t put it on Instagram and then catalog it on this site weekly. And I’m just tired of living that way. It makes me anxious and I don’t like feeling anxious.
I have no idea what reintegration of my work and the internet is going to look like but I know it’s not going to be every day for a while or maybe ever again. I don’t know right now. For a while, I’m just going to make things and dream and maybe occasionally post.
I’ll be around though and I certainly would love to talk to you! I want to hear about the big project you are about to embark on and I want to see the pictures of your new pet goat so please email or text me if you want to chat!!
Grace and Peace.